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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26749375">quanta</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyScientist/pseuds/ghostadventurespiritorb'>ghostadventurespiritorb (LadyScientist)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>su oneshots [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Episode: s05e29-32 Change Your Mind, F/M, Spoilers for Episode: s05e29-32 Change Your Mind, literally just that one scene from change your mind, you know exactly which one i refer to</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 09:35:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,625</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26749375</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyScientist/pseuds/ghostadventurespiritorb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Steven sensed his gemstone taking shape somewhere in the back of his mind; a light in the clouding darkness of pain as, across the room, the gem took form- the glowing silhouette at first formed Pink Diamond, then Rose Quartz, and for a moment it seemed like White Diamond had been right, he really had just been his mother trapped in that body all along, and then- the form shrinks, settling on... Steven. Glowing and pink and with a blank expression, but it was still... him. And from both sides of the room, Steven looked at himself.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>su oneshots [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2175645</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>quanta</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>White Diamond outstretched a huge, blindingly white hand towards Steven, and frozen with the doubt she’d instilled within him, he couldn’t even move, didn’t even realize what was happening until he felt her pinch him between two fingers tipped with black nails as long as he was tall- and suddenly White Diamond was lifting him up, away from the floor of the ship- Steven heard Connie scream his name from where she was restrained by that horrible, monochrome version of Pearl, and he looked down, but the floor was falling away from him- he shifted his gaze upward, to the massive face of White Diamond as she began to speak-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now, Starlight, this has gone on long enough.” Steven struggled briefly against her tight grip, but then she moved her thumb to pull back his shirt, and he stared up at her in horror as she brought down her other hand, two of those awful black claws clinking softly against the gemstone. Steven’s thoughts were racing- </span>
  <em>
    <span>What would happen to him without his gemstone? Would it hurt? Would he die? Would the gem take a physical form? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s time to come out, Pink,” White Diamond said in an almost sing-song voice, and she began to tug at the gemstone. Every inch of Steven's body was on fire, radiating out from the place the gemstone was embedded in his stomach. He opened his mouth to cry out, but he couldn't- sweat dripped down his forehead, tears gathered in his eyes, ready to roll down his cheeks- he closed his eyes, and gritted his teeth, and waited for it to be over- there was screaming (was some of it him?)- but then he felt something change- a release of tension, the instant before everything went black.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Connie watched in horror, unable to move or help Steven with White-Diamond-controlled-Pearl holding her back with a metal grip unusually strong, even for her. </span>
  <em>
    <span>White Diamond was pulling out his gemstone</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she thought to herself, </span>
  <em>
    <span>surely- she didn't want to think about it, what would happen to him-</span>
  </em>
  <span> "No!" Connie yelled, just as White Diamond pulled the gem clean out of his body. She held onto him for a heartbeat before letting the unconscious boy drop to the ground. </span>
</p><p><span>Connie shoved against Pearl's grasp again, and fell to her knees when Pearl let her go with barely any effort. She ran forwards to Steven-</span> <span>he was laying too still, his skin unusually pale, tears still beaded on his face-</span><em><span> he was just unconscious</span></em><span>, she told herself, </span><em><span>he'll be fine</span></em><span>- and all of a sudden she was sobbing, holding him, desperately begging him to wake up- </span></p><p>
  <span>"Steven. Steven, please. Steven, wake up. Look at me! Please...Steven? Steven!" He was still for just long enough for Connie to grasp onto the fact that the worst was true when she sensed the tiniest movement in him, and she realized he was breathing, he was alive, he was waking up- </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything hurt, but beyond that- there was a deep sense of </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrongness</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Distantly, past the growing ringing in his ears as he came to, he heard Connie calling out for him, begging him to wake up. And finally, he blinked open his eyes, and saw Connie kneeling beside him, holding him, eyes wide as he woke, struggling to move, as he pushed aside his shirt with a shaking hand that was too pale, too weak- </span>
  <em>
    <span>all this pain he was feeling, surely there was a wound, he was bleeding out, to be dying like this</span>
  </em>
  <span>- but his stomach was as smooth as if the gem had never been there- and in an unsteady, weak voice- every breath hurt to draw- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...What? No... where- Where's my...?"Almost as if in an instinctive answer to his question, Connie glanced up, and Steven followed her gaze to White Diamond's still outstretched hand holding the pink diamond stone pinched between two fingernails. As he watched, the gemstone began to glow with the familiar light of a reforming gem. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steven sensed his gemstone taking shape somewhere in the back of his mind; a light in the clouding darkness of pain as, across the room, the gem took form- the glowing silhouette at first formed Pink Diamond, then Rose Quartz, and for a moment it seemed like White Diamond had been right, he really had just been his mother trapped in that body all along, and then- the form shrinks, settling on... Steven. Glowing and pink and with a blank expression, but it was still... him. And from both sides of the room, Steven looked at himself. Gasping, the weak, now fully human Steven pulled himself forward from Connie's shoulder, desperately trying to step forward, to reach his gem, but he couldn't, it was already too late, he was too weak, his other half was too far away, and he fell out of Connie's grasp to the hard floor, sending a fresh wave of pain through his aching body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p><span>“Steven!” exclaimed Connie, falling to her knees beside him as he tried to drag himself towards his gem. The pink figure, apparently emotionless until now, seemed to react to Connie’s cry, looking almost... surprised as he heard her call his name. </span><span><br/>
</span> <span>“No… Please... I- I need it,” Steven sobbed as he scrabbled at the floor, desperately reaching out a shaking arm towards the pink Steven across the ship.</span></p><p>
  <span>“What is this? Where’s Pink?” hissed White Diamond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s gone,” responded Pink Steven, his expression never changing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What did you say? Answer me!” she said, confusion and anger breaking up her usual demeanor. He turned his head towards her, his expression remaining blank as he faced her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She’s GONE,” Pink Steven screamed, and the ground </span>
  <em>
    <span>shook.</span>
  </em>
  <span> The floor of White Diamond’s ship splintered, the cracks shooting dust into the air, as a crater formed under his feet. White Diamond was nearly thrown off her feet before she regained her balance. Pink Steven turned back to face his human half and started walking towards himself- he was laying on the floor where where he’d fallen, clutching his hair as tears streamed down his face, with Connie crouching beside him, hands still over her ears from the shockwave-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could feel his own pain from the other side of the room, he took another step forward, his feet falling where the floor had once been as if they didn’t care about the crater beneath them- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where do you think you’re going?” White Diamond snarled. Pink Steven kept walking as his other half tried to pull himself toward him, too weak even to crawl-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Steven!” Connie had realized that Steven needed his gem back, needed to get to that pink copy of himself across the room. “Hold on,” she said, picking him up, his body dead weight in her arms. Pink Steven was still steadily walking, slowly, too slowly, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no, she could make it-</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you dare take one more step!” shouted White Diamond. Pink Steven, with only one mission in mind, kept walking. “That’s enough!” she screamed, her eyes immediately lighting up with the blinding white glow she’d used to control Yellow and Blue Diamond and the Crystal Gems. She blasted Pink Steven with the light, and Connie’s eyes widened in fear as the gem that Steven so desperately needed was consumed by White Diamond’s mind-controlling power. When the light faded, however, it was clear that Steven had raised a shield - not his usual rose-embellished one, this one was prismatic, crystalline, angular, but it protected him from the blast, that was all that mattered-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You little-” White Diamond used her powers on him again, but he summoned a dome of polygonal panels that deflected the light. “Don’t you raise your shield at me!” White Diamond yelled. “I only want you to be yourself!” Connie turned around in alarm as White Diamond prepared to use her powers through all of the controlled gems. “If you can’t do that, I’ll do it for you!” White Diamond sent the light at Pink Steven from all angles. The glow surrounded Steven with a blinding light, the pure force of it whipping Steven and Connie’s hair around like a hurricane. Connie tried to force herself not to squint, to keep moving Steven to where he needed to be- Pink Steven stood in another protective dome, the light harmlessly hitting the outside, until he raised his arms and sent the built-up power backwards- White Diamond cried out, the controlled gems fell to the ground-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, stop, you’re hurting them!” Steven called from Connie’s arms- White Diamond collapsed, shaking the ground when she landed- between her hands, Connie had almost made it to Steven’s gem- Steven reached out a weak hand to the pink figure, and Connie passed him into his own arms with a soft “here.”- despite the tears in his eyes, Steven was smiling, and suddenly his other half was too- they were laughing, he was hugging himself, spinning as he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>warm</span>
  </em>
  <span> again- through the fallen gems, White Diamond let out protests of “What are you doing? Pink! Why are you laughing?”- Connie smiled despite herself as the two Stevens danced beneath White Diamond’s pale marble eyes- and they lit up together, and when the glow faded, Steven was himself again, traces of tears in his eyes, but this time they were happy; tears of relief instead of sadness or pain-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Steven!” called Connie, her voice almost shaking from relief, and she blinked tears out of her eyes as she ran up to him and pulled him into a tight hug. She touched his face with her hands as she asked, “Are you back together? Are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he replied. “Yeah, I’m me.” He looked down at where </span>
  <span>his mother’s</span>
  <span>, no,</span>
  <em>
    <span> his</span>
  </em>
  <span> gemstone was. “I’ve always been me.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've been hanging around ao3 for a while, and writing fanfic for even longer, but this will be the first thing I post to ao3! I wrote this as a warmup to a CYM-gone-wrong fic that I'll be posting chapter by chapter once it's completed, but I honestly must credit a few lines from this as being inspired by SomethingFoundInHaze's beautifully written work The Glass Gemstone. You can't just read that and not take inspiration from it! Also, all dialogue is taken directly from the episode transcript. The title is a reference to quantum mechanics, in which a particle can be in two places at once. I considered other titles including "Double Slit" (after the double slit experiment showing that a photon can be in two places at the same time), but I felt like it could also be read other ways. This was also posted on my website as "Isn't It Lovely, All Alone?".</p></blockquote></div></div>
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